** Sorry for the five month delay on posts! I continued to right in my journal throughout my pregnancy but just never transfered them to the blog! I will catch up until now (11 weeks after giving birth! **
Wait, is that a pink cross?
The pregnancy was pretty much planned, but it literally happened straight away and I was shocked at how quickly it happened. Some people may say that it was crazy how soon into my relationship we decided to have a baby, but the truth is no one will ever know or understand the feelings of two people in a relationship and without going into the history and details of our lives and relationship until that decision there is no way to understand, but its no ones right to comment either way. People can be married for ten years before they have a child only for it to fall apart or have a one night stand and manage to make a go of it and be happy, there really is no right way to ensure happiness, only you know in your own hearts what you feel.
We did the first pregnancy test may bank holiday weekend, we had gone away for a night to spend some time together as at this point we both still lived at home, as we had a long wait until our flat became available, it was negative. I had suspected that this would be the case as it was just a little too soon to be conducting such tests, but when you have an inkling its hard to control the urge to buy ten tests and do them hourly. I didn't really get many feelings at this point as I knew there was still a possibility
Fast forward about four days, and another tenner shelled out on a clearblue early reading pregnancy test and holy crap the faintest pink cross appeared. Wait, was that a cross? Am I seeing things? I even took a picture of it in with the flash on my phone to try and get the cross to show up clearer. There was no denying there was something there. When I saw it I didn't really know how to feel, I think at the time I was in shock, even though I had seen this coming. The first thing I did was have a shower and I remember popping my head around the corner to the sink where the test lie checking I hadn't imagined the whole thing.
Then this is the beauty of twin pregnancy tests - after a long night with only me knowing I repeated the test in the morning, and yep there was a significantly stronger pink cross!
I had already arranged to meet my best friend that day so decided to carry on as normal, still processing this information by myself, absolutely dying to tell my partner but I had to wait until we were face to face, and of course he was going to be the first to know. That is until my best friend made me a Fanta Icy Lemon & little did I know, Vodka mixed drink on her patio that hot afternoon, she swears she heard me say yes when it was offered but my mind was so frazzled I probably had no idea what was going on. Halfway through the drink I thought it tasted off and asked her, to which when she said yes I think the shock from my face gave it away and she knew I was pregnant, great Sophie, my first deed as a pregnant woman was to have a lemonade and vodka. Of course I was happy that she knew and we spent the entire afternoon in the sun talking about it and I look back and laugh now at how much of journey I was facing and was oblivious too.
The thirty minute drive to my partner that evening when he finished work was the most tense of my life, the kind of feeling where your whole body is tense. I blurted it out in boots car park and he was over the moon, of course he knew that I was planning on doing another test soon so he wasn't knocked back with shock. I didn't cry, I think at this point it hadn't really sunk in at all. Conveniently we was in boots car park and we nipped in and brought a digital test, the expensive kind that actually says in bold black works PREGNANT. I'm pretty sure I must have spent a small fortune on all these tests because that wasn't even the last one at this point...
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